Since I was eleven, I've grown from an awkward kid into an intelligent, beautiful and determined woman. I've flunked out of high school and fought my way into college. I discovered my calling and myself. And as much as it hurts me today, I've had the incredible experience of lending my heart out for thirteen years, eleven of them pretty damn good ones, and had it handed back to me, only a little worse for wear. I've worn prom dresses, a wedding dress and a few funeral dresses. I've made sisters of my best friends and a best friend of my sister. I've seen the pride and adoration in the eyes of my father as I did all of those things. I became a writer, a homeowner, and a friend I'd like to have. I've lived a life of privilege , and I've also been cold and hungry and scared. I would say I've had everything, good and bad, that the poor girl (who is my age) missed out on.
Thank you, Derek, for making me grateful for even the ugly parts.
DShan
· 4 months ago
Yeah, it's the ugly parts we should all take a step back and appreciate. Even those aren't the hell some people go through.
The Maiden Metallurgist
· 4 months ago
I heard about this story and had the same experoence you did. I started thinking about everythign I done and learned and experienced since I was 11. It breaks my heart.
DShan
· 4 months ago
It really breaks my heart. It's so unfair. That's what got me; she's the same age as I am and I've made all these decisions for myself that she never has.
Iva
· 4 months ago
Thank you Derek. This is wonderful, beautiful, and so thoughtful. You have lived an incredible life. I am so sorry about your car accidents. So grateful you are ok!
Between today and my eleventh birthday, I have known love everyday of my life. I have been hugged almost everyday, been told 'I love you' and have loved back each and every day. My parents have given me the world. I have tried, and I do hope, learned something new every.single.day. I traveled the world, filled a few passports, and met incredible people. Been a professional athlete, married a professional athlete: the love of my life, my best friend. Got injured repeatedly, but learned with each injury something new. I have experienced different cultures, foods, societies, learned to drive, gotten a few tickets, few accidents, and made incredible friends. I have given birth to two amazing babies, watched my first learn how to walk, talk, and share. Heard him say “I love you Mommy and Daddy” over and over again. I have volunteered countless hours…but not enough. I have seen gardens grow, eaten home grown veggies, watched the sun rise, watched the sun set. Been part of change in this world, and really proud of it. I have seen friends and family go through pain, loosing a loved one suddenly, loss of jobs, loss of control, loss of self esteem, loss of confidence, loss of knowing self direction, confusion build, and loss of sight. All of these experiences and so many more, have made me who I am today; and I am very much grateful for each moment. Even the broken roads.
All I can think of now is how my heart breaks for this girl and her two children. I like you D, thought all of the things that I have been through since I was 11. Tons of ups and downs. I can not help but feel sorrow and pain for her. And, yet, at the same time, happiness that she still has {hopefully} a chance, at happiness, stability, and I hope, the chance to meet and feel true love.
DShan
· 4 months ago
That she still has tomorrow is a good point; she does have a lot of time and experience ahead of her. I suppose we can hope she'll adjust well and see our world in a way that helps us understand it better.
alidubrow
· 4 months ago
I don't think I'll ever get over what a beautiful writer (and person) you are, D.
DShan
· 4 months ago
Ali! *blush*
AMinDinMoTown
· 4 months ago
Sorry I didn't read this sooner, but it was quite beautiful and emotionally evoking. To think of all the things so many of us complain about and realize that's just a drop in the bucket in comparison to what this woman has gone through? It's heartbreaking and I feel almost embarrassed to be melancholy about anything in my life when, as you said, hers is practically just beginning.
Thank you for writing this. I and many others, I'm sure, needed to read it.
DShan
· 4 months ago
I'm just happy you read it! Thanks for stopping by!
Alyson
· 4 months ago
Really moving post, I'm glad I found it.
DShan
· 3 months ago
Thank you! Thank you for stopping by!
Leah
· 3 months ago
Since I was 11 I have loved in three provinces and two countries, and visited all of Western Europe. I have fallen in love with the wine in France and the jungles of Costa Rica. I have completed elementary school, high school and achieved an honours Bachelor degree and learned two new languages. I fell in love, and stayed in love for a very long time. My sisters went from my annoying roommates to my dearest friends. I wrote three blogs and kept them as petite memoirs of my life. I flipped my truck, and helped nurse my Dad back to health after getting a phone call informing me he was dying. I made two friends I will never forget and kept one that I will never leave. I snowboarded on my small town ski hill, then in the Swiss Alps then on the Rocky Mountains. I became a social worker and have made a difference in the lives of countless people.
For me, 11 years old was only 11 years ago and I think that affirms to me that a lot can happen in 11 years and I hope that in 11 years Jaycee will be able to say exactly what I did and more. (That was a lot of elevens.)
Great post, I think I am quickly becoming a DShan addict! Thanks for linking to my comment on the Being Pretty post :)
DShan
· 3 months ago
Well, um, your comments rock:)
Jill
· 1 month ago
Wow, your post gave me some perspective. I try to remember that I'm lucky to have a job when I want to complain about mine.
All Comments
Since I was eleven, I've grown from an awkward kid into an intelligent, beautiful and determined woman. I've flunked out of high school and fought my way into college. I discovered my calling and myself. And as much as it hurts me today, I've had the incredible experience of lending my heart out for thirteen years, eleven of them pretty damn good ones, and had it handed back to me, only a little worse for wear. I've worn prom dresses, a wedding dress and a few funeral dresses. I've made sisters of my best friends and a best friend of my sister. I've seen the pride and adoration in the eyes of my father as I did all of those things. I became a writer, a homeowner, and a friend I'd like to have. I've lived a life of privilege , and I've also been cold and hungry and scared. I would say I've had everything, good and bad, that the poor girl (who is my age) missed out on.
Thank you, Derek, for making me grateful for even the ugly parts.
Between today and my eleventh birthday, I have known love everyday of my life. I have been hugged almost everyday, been told 'I love you' and have loved back each and every day. My parents have given me the world. I have tried, and I do hope, learned something new every.single.day. I traveled the world, filled a few passports, and met incredible people. Been a professional athlete, married a professional athlete: the love of my life, my best friend. Got injured repeatedly, but learned with each injury something new. I have experienced different cultures, foods, societies, learned to drive, gotten a few tickets, few accidents, and made incredible friends. I have given birth to two amazing babies, watched my first learn how to walk, talk, and share. Heard him say “I love you Mommy and Daddy” over and over again. I have volunteered countless hours…but not enough. I have seen gardens grow, eaten home grown veggies, watched the sun rise, watched the sun set. Been part of change in this world, and really proud of it. I have seen friends and family go through pain, loosing a loved one suddenly, loss of jobs, loss of control, loss of self esteem, loss of confidence, loss of knowing self direction, confusion build, and loss of sight. All of these experiences and so many more, have made me who I am today; and I am very much grateful for each moment. Even the broken roads.
All I can think of now is how my heart breaks for this girl and her two children. I like you D, thought all of the things that I have been through since I was 11. Tons of ups and downs. I can not help but feel sorrow and pain for her. And, yet, at the same time, happiness that she still has {hopefully} a chance, at happiness, stability, and I hope, the chance to meet and feel true love.
Thank you for writing this. I and many others, I'm sure, needed to read it.
For me, 11 years old was only 11 years ago and I think that affirms to me that a lot can happen in 11 years and I hope that in 11 years Jaycee will be able to say exactly what I did and more. (That was a lot of elevens.)
Great post, I think I am quickly becoming a DShan addict! Thanks for linking to my comment on the Being Pretty post :)